Minglies & Men in Drag
by QQQ p
Summary: A shory pointless story that will forever change your life as long as you can't read.


Minglies & Men in Drag

_A short pointless Story._

It was a beautiful day in the forest as Dart came trundling along. He knew little of what was to happen and that the very fate of the world might one day rest on his very shoulders. He was ignorant of this looming fate and was happily thinking about the evil doings of the black monster Warning! Plot Spoilers! Aka: Rose omgomgomgomg.

He was looking at the strange stone that he'd had since he was a kid that glowed every now and again with that foreboding non-medically tested possibly dangerous radiation. Suddenly out of the blue hoof beats sounded and horsemen (or men on weird looking horse-like things) trundled passed him quickly. Two stopped and pointed sharp spears down at him angrily.

"Who are you? What are you doing here?"

"Out of the way peon!" said the other.

Dart brave thing he was took out his sword and slashed the spears back even though he was several levels too young for the advanced guard monsters.

The soldiers did not wait around. A moment later and there was rumbling in the forest as a huge green dragon (just trust me on the fact that it's a dragon) came stampeding through and growled as Dart being brave stood his ground. Dart looked up at the creature that was attacking him with a serious expression on his face and said, "Omg-omg-omg bugger this I'm off"

You see the problem with this engaging battle was that Dart who had never been a particularly dedicated swordsman had only begun to master the non-famous Double Slash combo. This involved running towards the enemy and hitting them… and then hitting them again. His hit points consisted of twenty his special command: ITEM.

The green wind dragon on the other hand was a huge great big beast with large claws and sharp teeth capable of decimating an army. It had about a thousand hit points with the ability to cast several nasty spells and poison its enemies. Dart would have been let off lightly If he'd been poisoned. Overkill would be the suggested hp number of damage Dart would receive if he were to be hit by the Dragon in any way. It's the same kind of experience Mortal Kombat characters get after they've just been brutalitied except that in this case the Dragon would only need to hit once.

Dart dodged and caused a lucky stab on the dragon's foot. By default with the dragon's defense so high this automatically comes out as 1 hit point. That left only nine hundred and ninety nine or so more to go. Wait-a-go Dart.

"Omg-omg-omg!" said Dart running for his life.

It was at this point that the mysterious black clad lady with a mysterious past and missing several obvious symmetry related clothing items turned up and said, "Omg! That poor man who looks like Zieg might get killed!"

There was a flash of black light and the mysterious woman who happened to be called Rose transformed into strange looking black armour, with strange looking amazing multi colored magical wings. Rose proceeded to cast Mega-Death-Darkness-Blast-Of-Doom on the dragon causing twenty five million points of damage. The dragon died and Rose landed lightly on the ground half the forest (and Seles) decimated.

"Omg!" said Dart, "That was amazing! How the heck did you do that?"

"Trust me kiddo – I've been around for a long time. The exp just builds up and up and now I'm a level 247 … level 20 dragoon with a 57 hit addition and multiple spell casting ability. I'm armed with three phantom shields"

"How the heck did you do that?"  
"When you get to my level you can do anything"

"Ok…" said Dart amused, "So give me an Ice-cream"

Rose cast: Summon Ice cream – 1mp.

"Here ya go kiddo"

"Yuck that's disgusting!" said Dart licking it with a pained expression.

"Yeah give me a break. I'm still working on that one. Besides I don't see YOU summoning ice-cream"

"I'm working on it…" whimpered Dart. Turning he looked at the smoke rising in the distance, "OMG My Village!"

"Yeah sorry about that," said Rose, "Bit of Whip-lash on that spell"

"Those solders destroyed my village! Just like the black monster did in Neet all those years ago!"

"Er… yes…" said Rose slowly, "I can explain that too"

"Nooooooo!" said Dart running madly towards the smoldering wreck.

There was a light from Rose's belt that shone suddenly. She took it out in shock and lifted it to her ear.

"Hello? What… you don't say… that man over there? He's…? He can't be? Look ring me back in ten minutes ok I'm busy right now. I need to search the dragon's ashes for any useful items"

Agilely she spun the mobile phone like Robo-cop and pocketed it.

\\\ _Flash Back! _/

"_Nooooooo save yourself!" called Zieg with his last dying breath even as he spoke the petrifaction curse working its way through his body._

_"ZIIIEEEEEEGG!" shouted Rose her hand outreached they were separated as the unearthly forces pulled them apart, "Stop being such a sissy!" she screamed._

_"What are you saying Rose I'm dying!" groaned Zieg turning to stone, "My spirit will always be with you etc"_

_"Shut up you stupid oath I've got three spare Depetrifiers in my bag! Hold still!" she said and tipped the contents of the magic potion on Zieg's crumbling body. Instantly he was fine and stood to his feet._

_"Oh…" he said slowly, "Well that's alright then"_

_"Damn you!" breathed Melbu from the blinding light below, "How dare you think that you can defeat a god!"_

_At that moment a bright light shot forward going straight through Zieg's heart with a painful crunch. He fell to the ground in pain and slumped to the ground._

_"This is it Rose… I'm done for this time. Not even the depetrifier will save me now… I'm mortally wounded… Rose tell Diaz that…"_

_"Here," said Rose administering a healing potion. Immediately Zieg was healed and stood to his feet while the city crumbled around them._

_"Well that's okay then…" he smiled somewhat uneasily, "Let's be off then"_

_But sadly it was at that moment that a huge fallen Super Virage fell out of the sky and squashed Zieg flat on the ground. With it's last dying breath it vowed to destroy at least one dragoon and charging up it's laser cannon fired directly at Zieg blasting him into a million pieces._

_"ZIIIIEEEEEEGGG!" screamed Rose, "Why can't you be more careful?"_

_Taking out yet another bottle Rose administered an Angel's Prayer and Zieg came back to life in a flash of pretty sparks._

_"Well… I appear to be alive… again…" muttered Zieg_

_"Damn you Humans!" came the voice of Melbu from the deep, "You shall not get away with this treachery, behold my most powerful magic…"_

_"Oh shut up!" shouted back Rose, "I've had just about enough of your lip" and she flung a psychedelic bomb into the void and flew off with Zieg._

_There was a huge deafening explosion as Kadessa fell to the ground ruined and the long reign of the winglies finally at an end. It was a new era of peace and prosperity with a true happy ending_

_Except for one wingly… who flying over the rubble he settled below on some charred remains and said simply, "Your Angel's prayer sire like you asked for…"_

"Exssssellent" 

"They're all dead!" said Dart with wide crying eyes, "My God they're all dead!"

"Hey… do you want to train with me or not?" said Master Tasman getting impatient, "I do need to get going you know…"

"They're all dead!" said Dart turning to a soldier

"Ha-ha-ha-ha and so shall you be soon!"

"They're all dead!" said Dart turning away.

"Are you going to fight me or what?" said the soldier impatiently

Dart walked away in a blind stupor until he came to the back entrance of the village where he found the black clad mysterious warrior girl.

"They're all dead!" he said hysterically

"You should really open that chest you know," said Rose idling it sideways, "Cos if you don't I'm going to"

"They're all dead!" said Dart again

"By the way!" whispered Rose in Dart's ear, "There's a Stardust on the third gravestone next to the tree… make sure you get that before you leave town! It will save a lot of time later!"

"They're all dead!"

"… you don't make very interesting conversation do you?"

"Excuse me…" said the soldier coming up from behind, "I would like to fight with you if you don't mind… you are denying me my liberty as a villain"

"Fine!" shouted Dart, "Damned evil horrible man! I shall enact my revenge on you!"

Whack – whack – whack – whack – whack were the blows that the guard issued very quickly and Dart slumped to the ground a bloody heap.

"I've Got one Burn out!" choked Dart to Rose who was leaning against a wall, "What should I do with it?"

"Throw it at the soldier what do you expect?" replied Rose indifferently.

Dart did and missed. The burn out bounced off of the wall of the crumbled house over a roof and hit a rainbow bird in mid flight which made it swerve and crash into the well drowning. Dart gaining 3000 experience points and several levels jumped to his feet and slashed the soldier dead.

There was silence.

"Well I didn't see that one coming," said Rose

End.


End file.
